I figured out recently why book three has fought me so hard, and why I've kept radio silence on some critical issues: I'm depressed, a lot more than I thought, and for some time now. If I haven't answered something you've asked me, that's why. Not an excuse but an explanation. I'm trying to clear things up and get straight.
I can tell this mood is starting to break up because in the last few days book three finally sorted its structure out in a logical way. Today, for the first time in months, I feel as if I can work. Until recently, sitting down in front of the IHGK and/or DIC Scrivener files has resulted in actual panic attacks.
You're supposed to write through times of no inspiration, but I think this has been bigger than "no inspiration." Those of you who've been with me since the "old days" remember when I was diagnosed with bipolar two a few years ago. I'm on meds and am generally a WHOLE lot better than I was, but sometimes the brain chemistry goes awry. I think this is one of those times; it's just taken a while to see it because it's not the spectacular crash-and-burn of pre-diagnosis days--NASCAR had nothin' on me.
And also last year there were some definite situational depression triggers; I was sick or recovering from surgery for three months of the twelve. A confluence of suck, in other words.
Anyway, it's getting better. Thanks for your patience with me.